Approx. 100 copies of this CD were made to SHOWCASE my work at the 2018 Association of American Medical Colleges (AAMC) Convention held at Austin, Texas. I still have about 40 of these left, sealed signed - just needs to be delivered... I am willing to sell these to only those who have CD players still. My apologies to all else. :) 2 bonus tracks are included within the digital download, which you will also get if you purchase the physical CD.
It is packaged in a slim jewel case and comes with a 2-panel package insert and is sealed with poly wrap.
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Inspired by Eliezer M. Van Allen's "Role In Transition" Ann. Intern. Med. 2009; 151:427-428
End of Life Decisions for healthcare workers. When is enough, enough?
lyrics
V1
Up in the call room -- with a spoon fill of home-cooked food
Just got off the phone with grand moms, complaining she put too
much of her Indian spices -- real hot -- but just so cool
She pushed me to pull this medical resident school kid through.
My pager goes off -- it's the Emergency Room -- with a new admission
Patient was an elderly woman with an unstable condition
Finished my last bites -- and left the rest in the fridge
In less than a minute -- Im at her bedside -- with all my questions
Less than a second -- it took to realize what didn't need guessing
Her breathing was labored -- her knees were pressing her chest in
She had a history of long-standing dementia
Along with a long list of other conditions and standing right next to her
Her family... some tearful -- others firm and focused
Full code status -- so I made sure we tubed her throat
For the 5th time this year -- the end of near -- it's near the ending
Her situation's clear -- she was rapidly deteriorating
Most probably: Aspiration -- severe incapacitation
Regretful -- to tell the family, their loved one may not make it
They still ask for life-sustaining measures -- when her blood pressure
Dropped -- I placed a central line and started those damn pressors.
Hook
Sometimes I don't know why I feel so strange
As I go about my day -- I feel no pain
But as I look into the eyes of my patient there laying
I know that she's about to die -- I hope she feels no pain
You can ask all my people -- they feel the same
Caught in the middle of things -- its why we feel so drained
If he's on his deathbed -- I hope he feels no pain
And when he passes away -- I hope I feel no pain
V2
It never ceased to amaze me -- even at her advanced age.
My god mother in the kitchen -- managing pots filled with chicken,
Conducting a symphony of different delicious dishes,
The scent alone makes me want to take the top and just lift it.
But not before I get my hand slapped -- by that demanding chef,
I'm always snooping around -- sniffing what she's planning next,
She's making sure I don't compromise her space again,
She brushes me out of the way -- I can't have a taste again!
Damn -- I'm getting paged again -- my heart start to race again,
It's the same patient - coding -- now she's way past facing death,
I jump on the patient's bed -- and start with the chest compressions,[
Cracking her brittle ribs -- as my senior defibrillates her,
It takes us -- only one shock -- we get her back!
Let's call the family up -- 2am -- get 'em back!
The cardiac rhythm & hemodynamics- we got 'em back,
Even though I don't know -- how long we can hold that from going flat.
Hook
Sometimes I don't know why I feel so strange
As I go about my day -- I feel no pain
But as I look into the eyes of my patient there laying
I know that she's about to die -- I hope she feels no pain
You can ask all my people -- they feel the same
Caught in the middle of things -- its why we feel so drained
If he's on his deathbed -- I hope he feels no pain
And when he passes away -- I hope I feel no pain
V3
At one end -- is my attending reciting what sounds foreign,
"Despite our best efforts -- ain't no fighting the failing organs."
At the other end there's that patient's loving husband,
Who try's to explain -- he doesn't want any hospice comfort,
He doesn't want to pull the -- plug and let her go under,
By any and all means -- wants us to resuscitate her.
In caught in the middle -- riddled with questions -- with no answers,
Do No Harm -- it's that oath -- that I won't tamper.
But I know my own fam -- would look at me as their only doctor,
Only for proper guidance -- should this happen to my god mother,
Only God knows how much I love her -- I'll put no one else above her,
Sprinkle some false hope above that grim prognosis,
Then I'm reminded of all the futile interventions,
From son to physician -- frustrated by this transition,
Counting each deep breath -- I'll walk with her each step,
The only thing left to give is a gift or peaceful death
Hookx2
Sometimes I don't know why I feel so strange
As I go about my day -- I feel no pain
But as I look into the eyes of my patient there laying
I know that she's about to die -- I hope she feels no pain
You can ask all my people -- they feel the same
Caught in the middle of things -- it's why we feel so drained
If he's on his deathbed -- I hope he feels no pain
And when he passes away -- I hope I feel no pain
from One Third Of One Percent,
track released May 27, 2011
Dedicated to Satwant Kaur. Written and directed by Pramanik Bharadwaj. Chief Resident played by Dean McCarthy. Cinematography by Jonathan Mena & Therese Jackson. Sound engineering by Dwayne Fortune. Special thanks to Prasheel Bharadwj & Pranay Bhardwaj.
I was "sort of" in the NYC underground scene - except with a Funk Band - Prem had joints like Writer's Block in his debut "The Build" - years later, I'm following his lead in my own Build. Watch him. Pramanik MDMC
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